Friday, November 2, 2012

Shredding the Bedding

Lots of people have been posting on Facebook and other places about participating in Thirty Days of Thanksgiving. I began to ponder some of the more unusual things I have to be thankful for like a husband who puts up with my sleep idiosyncrasies.

I sleep-talk a lot. (Though I will say, Cal needs to be thankful that I’m not my cousin who’s known to sit bolt upright in bed during the middle of the night and “sing” at the top of her lungs. You’ve never experienced sleep issues until you wake up at 2am to someone screaming “Jesus Loves Me” at the top of her lungs.) In any case, when Cal and I first got married, he didn’t realize I talked in my sleep. He’d thought sleep talking was the occasional mumbled word. Not the ramblings that went on and on. It wasn’t until he realized that I didn’t always make sense that I was asleep.

Then there are the times I wake him saying, “The police are pounding on the front door. Go answer it.” Except it’s only a dream. When I’ve been insistent, he’s actually gone down two flights of stairs and opened the door for me. Now he rolls over and says, “Go back to sleep.”

I can’t forget the sleep walking where he finds me and brings me back to bed.

But what would drive me crazy if he did it is the “bedding shredding.” No, I don’t kick the sheets around or pull the blanket loose. I actually shred the bedding. I wake up with sheets torn all around me. On some nights, I become the Incredible Hulk and rip the sheets. Thankfully, I’m not that strong and sheets are well made, so it only happens when the fabric is getting old from repeated washings. I’ve even shredded a heavy wool blanket. (Yes, I know I’m some sleep doctor’s key to the lead article in the Journal of Sleep Medicine.) If Cal had woken up among puffs of shredded wool, I would’ve said, “Ack, what did you do? Do you know how much a wool blanket costs?” Instead, he said, “Hmm. I guess that must be getting old.”

Yeah, he’s pretty much a saint. Last week, I ripped a pillowcase during the night—I guess it must have been getting old.

BTW, Screwing Up Babylon will soon be available. (In spite of Sandy) Today I plan to convert the file and upload it to Amazon. Yay!


  1. Wow, if only you could harness that sheet shredding strength for during the day.

  2. It must run in the family :>) You have another cousin who talks (a lot!) in her sleep. Her conversations are great for party-talk. Her daughters (and hubby) love to tell people what "my weird mother" talked about recently while sound asleep. I don't think she sings, or shreds, in her sleep though~

  3. You do realize that at that point in your sleep your brain is suppose to "turn off" your limbs? Sounds like a visit to a sleep specialist is in order. That is, if our racketeering insurance company would cover it. It boggles my mind that they haven't lost some multimillion dollar lawsuit yet.

  4. I used to carry on in my sleep, too... walk, talk, cry, yell, etc. But I've never attacked the bedclothes before. With the cold weather coming on, maybe you should try flannel sheets. They're pretty tough. (And feel amazing!) Congrats on the new book release!