Apparently, my teenage readers are tiring of my numerous posts about tech support. Hmm. I guess they don’t spend much time dialoguing with Indian trouble shooters. I suppose it’s similar to when I was a teenager and my grandmother couldn’t figure out how to use her microwave or VCR. If I remember correctly, most people over the age of 40 had “12:00” blinking on their VCR all the time. Okay. No more posts on tech support—at least not until tomorrow.
How about a report on something nearer and dearer to teen hearts? How about a personal review of one of my favorite Wii games? I would do Excite Truck since it’s my favorite, but I’ll hold off on that and do my second favorite—Mario Cart. I always play as Yoshi. He is too cute with his bulbous green nose and squeaky voice—it brings out the 16 year old girl who still lives inside of me somewhere. And I always drive the standard motorcycle—I was a very cool 16 year old. (Not really—I actually listened to Big Band music, watched old Hitchcock movies, and tried to get the best grades in my class.)
The best tracks in Mario Cart are NOT Rainbow Road or Bowser’s Castle. In Rainbow Road, I always drive off the road and fall into outer space. (The whole thing doesn’t really work for me because it’s illogical unless the road itself is gravitized.) Bowser’s Castle is another hateful track—either I fall into burning lava and become a Yoshi tiki torch, or I get smashed by some idol-lookalikes that fall from the ceiling. Yeah, I think I have a spiritual objection to Bowser’s Castle.
On the other hand, I like Coconut Mall, despite that fact that I hate shopping. Maybe my local mall could install go carts and jumps. I’d definitely visit more often. And Mushroom Gorge is fun. The colors are psychedelic, and you get to bounce on the mushrooms.
All right, all right. The truth of the matter is that I never, ever win on Rainbow Road or Bowser’s Castle—sometimes I don’t even finish. But I am the Mall/Mushroom Champion. Yep, I get the M&M crown. I think they should send me a bag of M&Ms as a prize. I like the peanut kind, not the plain.