Five Things I've Learned

In the last six months, I’ve spent a lot of time in doctor’s offices and hospitals. Here’s what I’ve learned.

1. Bring a snack. Bring your patience. And bring a Kindle full of books. Our longest wait was 90 minutes past the appointment time. And then, the insurance billed for an extra-long appointment when we only saw the doctor for 10 minutes max.

2. Layers of clothing. Some rooms are sweltering. Others are icy. One nurse greeted us with blankets and said, “It’s freezing down here and we have no control over the thermostat.” I was thankful I wasn’t the one in a cotton gown.

3. Go to graduate school in math. All the doctors oooh and aaah when they find a patient doing math in grad school—they treat you like they are caring for a brain trust. No one cares when you have a degree in English.

4. University Hospital Parking. Don’t bother looking for a space in level one or two or even six—it’s not worth the time. Head straight for the roof. Be patient with people in front of you who haven’t learned this rule and so waste fifteen minutes meandering through the parking structure while a line of ten cars stretches out behind them. (Also find out who’s the architect for these things and demand that they make it possible to jet straight to the top.)

5. Maintain a well-controlled sense of humor. The doctors and nurses aren’t out to get you—that’s the insurance company’s job. And when you call the insurance company and talk to a rep who says, “I’m so sorry. But I want you to know that we aren’t evil,” don’t laugh.

Image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.

Is It Friday Yet?

This is one of those weeks where it’s only Wednesday, but it feels like Friday.

It started Sunday night when Luke complained he didn’t feel well. And I should’ve known this was a bad sign. Luke never complains. But everyone went to bed.

On Monday morning Luke woke up in pain, right lower quadrant abdominal pain. The pain was bad enough that he was very pale (Luke has dark almond-colored skin). Then he said he didn’t think he could go to class—in four years of college I don’t think he’s ever missed a class. He always goes, sick or not.

We took Luke to the doctor who thought it might be appendicitis. And he ordered a CT scan, which the insurance company denied. The hospital told us they gave no reason for the denial. So Cal began making phone calls. Interestingly enough, the insurance company hires another company to make denials, etc. No doubt this is to cover them when they get sued. After lots of phone calls, some person told Cal that Luke was denied because his doctor didn’t order enough tests. Yes, you heard that right, Luke’s doctor only ordered a CT of the pelvis and they thought he needed a CT of the abdomen too. So they denied all services. (Of course, they didn’t give the hospital or the doctor this information.)

By now, it’s after hours on Monday, and Luke’s still in a lot of pain. So Cal called the after-hours doctor, who said he’d be happy to talk to Blue Cross/Blue Shield authorization. He’d had experience with them denying the same procedure before. He said they stall you because if you have to go to ER, where they’ll cover the CT, you have to pay a higher deductible. (No wonder Mr. Incredible couldn’t stand working for an insurance company.)

To make a long story short, Luke got the CT and it turned out that he doesn’t have appendicitis. The doctor has no idea what’s wrong. We’re just hoping and praying that whatever’s wrong passes soon—the current theory is a virus with spasmodic “thingies.” Luke still has a low grade fever and stomach pains, though they’re much more bearable.

And just in time, now our internet is down. I’ve got it jerry-rigged so I can post this. It’s going to be a long week. And I have a writing deadline looming. I’m beginning to think all of October will be shorter than this week.