My husband and I are “at that age.” We both feel young (but
aren’t). I have hopes one day of running a marathon. I’ve always wanted to and
sort of have—it was a marathon walk to raise money for the March of Dimes and I
ran it instead of walking. But it doesn’t really count. And my husband always
wanted to do a triathlon, but spinal stenosis put a crimp in that.
So we’re feeling young and healthy—well, except for the stenosis.
But there’s one aspect of age we haven’t escaped, one that exercise can’t help.
Aging eyes. Both of us need reading glasses. BTW, “reading” glasses is a misnomer.
I do need them for reading, but I also need them for everything else. Yesterday
my daughter and I were in line together for food at our church potluck. As we
were passing through the salad selection, I pointed out a salad to my daughter
and asked, “Uh, I don’t have my glasses. Is that a bean salad?” My daughter
laughed. “No, Mom, that’s apples and craisins.” Oh, right.
And then there’s the inevitable grocery shopping trips where
I peer at labels that I can’t read. Then, I say to my husband, “Hey, you have
glasses on. What does this say?” He squints and shrugs. “These are my driving
glasses. You know, for distance.” Then I squint at him, “Oh, right.”
I say, “You should wear your bifocals.”
He says, “You should wear your reading glasses.”
Me: “I’ve misplaced them.” (Just so you know, I have five or
six pairs scattered through the house.)
I need to get one of those glasses tethers. The kind that
librarians wear. Okay, true confessions, I’ve actually bought a couple. The
really cute beaded one got caught in my hair and made a rat’s nest and the base
of my neck. It had to cut out. The fabric and plastic one I bought broke—I took
the tether off the glasses too many times because I didn’t want the librarian
look when I went out.
Oh, and by the way, those cute reading glasses, the ones
that are hip (if reading glasses can be hip) and come in attractive colors and
shapes, they don’t fit me. Women’s reading glasses squish my temples and give
me migraines. Apparently, my head is larger than most women’s heads. (Thank
you, northern European ancestry.) So I wear the extremely attractive men’s
reading glasses with clunky black frames.
Here’s what I’m thinking. I’m going to buy some Dumbledore
half-moon reading glasses and create a trend. Reading glasses—the new hip
accessory.
So you’d better get your pair now so you can be a
trendsetter, just like me.
