Friday, November 1, 2013

Driver's Education and Me

Our last child is learning to drive. Actually, he’s learned. We just haven’t given him the okay to get his license because…teenage boys and insurance, that’s a wallet shocker. So he has to wait until we need him to drive.

I don’t teach the kids how to drive, Cal does. (In our state, parents are responsible to teach their kids to drive.) I started out teaching the kids, but then during one outing, I screamed. I guess there’s nothing more freaky than having your mom scream. (Nearly driving into a large ditch will do that to me.)

I’ve been known to reach over and honk at some other car. (Yes, I believe in punitive honking, but only when my kids are driving.)

I also stomp the floorboards of the car, slamming an imaginary brake. I still do this even to my fully-licensed, driving-for-years kids. But now I pretend I’m stretching my legs. Sadly, they are not fooled.

And there are all the times that I’ve done backseat driving. Cal is the official teacher, so I sit in the back. I really try to be quiet. But, well, no one in our family believes in braking. So I tell them when to brake. And I do it forcefully. I’m just trying to protect our health and well-being. But no one else sees it that way. So I get glares and heavy sighs. Now I just grab the seat in front of me and tighten my knuckles. And the driver says, “Mom, chill!”


  1. Oh man. I remember when I got my license (Stone Age.) I'd never driven before. The instructor pretty much freaked out with me behind the wheel!

  2. My mom does the slamming the imaginary brake thing. Sadly, I probably will, too. I've already told Carl he'll be the one teaching the kids to drive. I hate getting behind the wheel myself, and there's no way I'd be good at teaching anyone else!

  3. Teaching the kids to drive was definitely not my forte.

  4. My mom does that too! Once, she said: "There's a car passing on the left side" (We drive on the opposite side to you, btw.)
    So I said: "Yes mom, see that nifty thing on the left side of the car? It's a mirror and I use it to see who's passing on the wrong side."
    She stopped.

  5. I should add I'd been driving alone for three years by then.