5 Things about Post-Hospital Recovery

In the last six months, I’ve cared for two of my kids who’ve had cardiothoracic surgery. Here’s what I’ve learned about post-hospital recovery.

1. Keep a medication list and write down what you gave, when you gave it, and how long until the next dose. (And set an alarm on your phone alerting you to the next dose. Yes, this may mean up to ten alarms set on your phone—some programmer ought to make alarms with titles, i.e., 2am—hydrocodone, 4am—diazepam, etc.)

Photo courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.

Me: Uh, so did I give you this medicine an hour ago?

Recovering patient: No.

Me: Are you sure? I vaguely remember being up at 2am.

Patient: I took some pills then. I think they were white.

Me (squinting): They’re all white. Do you remember how many pills you took?

Patient: No. What happens either way?
Me: Excruciating pain. Or drugged stupor.

Patient: I vote for drugged stupor.

2.  Lidocaine patches ought to be manufactured in Ace bandage-type rolls.

Me: How do you feel?

Patient: It hurts here, here, here and here. Basically, everything outside of the borders of the lidocaine patches hurts.

3. Your patient feels mildly guilty because of all the care you’re providing and the sleep you’re missing, so now’s the time to get them to watch your favorite movies/mini-series.

Me: Look, I bought Poldark. Let’s watch it.

Patient: Haven’t you seen this before?

Me: Yes, but you haven’t!

(I strongly urge watching early in the recovery process. Oh, sweetie, you feel asleep in the middle of the episode, don’t you want to watch it again?)

4. Once you exhaust your mind’s ability to write and read (who knew such exhaustion existed?), there are computer games. I am now queen of Nova, having survived all assassination attempts; I am currently a Gray Warden; I’m an interstellar captain, probing Geth attacks; and I’m a cold case investigator. (My kids, having guided my path through KOTR over the past year, now believe I have the makings of a full-fledged gamer—hence all the games they gave me for Christmas. And I must say, the plotting, backstory, and world-building in many of these games is phenomenal.)

5. Sleep Masks. I’d never worn one before. But they are awesome. Especially when ICU nurses come every hour for vitals. And perfect when you’re trying to catch up on sleep at home during the middle of the day. I have one with zebra stripes. Love it!