Downton Abbey Predictions

Last night was the season finale of Downton Abbey. And I am a fan of the show. Sometimes it verges on soap opera, but I’m so fully vested in the characters I don’t care. At least, not much.

Earlier in the week, I’d thought through the plot threads, wondering what kind of cliff hanger the writers might chose to end the season with. But instead of leaving a character in the lurch, the writers gave almost everyone a happy ending. Mary has her desire of suitors. Mrs. Crawley has her lord. Edith has her baby nearby, though this bodes oh-so-badly. (How long before Thomas figures that one out?) The Dowager Countess has Mrs. Levinson leaving. Lady Rose (my least favorite character) had a lovely coming out and seems to have grown up a little—punishing Mama is not a great life plan. Mr. Bates seems to have gotten away with murder. (Good for him.) Baxter stood up to Thomas (You go, girl!) and has an admirer in Mosley. And Mrs. Hughes and Carson held hands.

It was a lovely ending to the season and no real cliffhanger, though Tom is in a bit of a bind with the school teacher. And we the viewers are left with a happy ending. We get to imagine that everyone is happy at least until next January when things begin to unravel...because without conflict, there is no story.

So here are my predictions for next season.

1. Mary will continue to lead her suitors down the primrose path. Don’t look for her to marry anyone soon.

2. Things will progress between Baxter and Mosely (at least for a while). They bring out the best in each other. And Mosely was getting a bit whiney and grating.

3. Mrs. Crawley will not marry her lord because marriage would take her from her grandbaby, her last remaining tie to Matthew.

4. Someone will figure out that the new baby at the cottage looks remarkably like Edith. And sooner or later, Thomas will hear of it and the knowledge will allow him to keep his job when they try to fire him.

5. Carson and Mrs. Hughes will continue to love each other, and drive each other crazy, just like a real brother and sister.

So these are my predictions, and I really hope they’re wrong. I love being surprised.

Getting Something for Nothing

We don’t have cable. We’ve never had cable. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not one of those I-don’t-believe-in-television-we-only-read-Shakespeare kind of people. I love Shakespeare and could talk about the plays and the sonnets for hours. But I also love Leverage, Castle, and the Yankees (I don’t really love baseball, but I love my husband and sons. And they love baseball, so...I know that Nick Swisher is called “Swish,” Robinson Cano is called “Robby,” and Curtis Granderson is called “The Grandy Man.”) Anyway, I enjoy popular culture. But without cable, it’s kind of hard. And cable is just too expensive. (Do you know how much beef/chicken/beans I can buy with that kind of money?)

But I worked out the popular cultural connection. For years we streamed from the computer onto the television. Everything was great. Until last week.

Last week, we tried to stream the final episode of Leverage. And it was locked!?! And you had to type in some stupid cable code to unlock the episode. How could they do this to me? I realize that I’m not actually paying for the content, but I watch their uber-stupid commercials. (Actually, I like the one with the fake raccoon-man who destroys the attic.) But most of the commercials assume that the viewers are stoned/drunk/brain-dead—I mean who wants to listen to commercials that scream at them. Or watch over and over again, the lame eyelash commercial (Latisse) that warns you the product may permanently “darken” your irises and eyelids. Why would anyone buy that crap?

Sorry, I don’t mean to diss the pharmaceutical companies. At least, not much.  But why lock the final episode of Leverage? It’s not like that’s going to make me buy cable. And Netflix isn’t much help; their streamable content is mostly junk that no one wants to watch. Though Downton Abbey and the new Sherlock series were notable exceptions.

I fear this is the beginning of the end of the something-for-nothing glory of the internet. Even Amazon is going to start charging sales tax in some states. What is the world coming to? I want my something for nothing.

BTW, here’s a link to my book blog post “Moaning Monks.” Enjoy.