If It's Spring, It Means Thermostat Wars.

This morning the temperature is in the 50s (13 C for European readers). By afternoon, the temperature will be in the mid to high 70s (24 C). This is the way of spring in the South. I love it. My kids…not so much. Here’s a typical spring day.

Early morning. My children get up. Shivering. I have left the windows open all night to get the house cool and bring in fresh air. (I’m a big believer is fresh air. My kids are big believers in keeping the house shut up—they point to the fine layer of pollen coating everything. I hand them a dust rag and remind them that they aren’t allergic to pollen.)

The children protest. Some do it audibly. Another wears a robe. And another… Let’s just say that I found myself saying, “Turn off the gas fireplace now!”

By late afternoon, the windows are sealed up. The temperature in the house has risen. My children have changed clothes. And they are protesting the heat. There are cries of “turn on the air conditioning.” I give them a cold stare and say, “Absolutely not.” I remind them that in an hour or two, I’ll open the windows and cool air will flood the house. There is grumbling and gnashing of teeth. Protests begin. A male protester takes off his shirt. Apparently, it is “the only way I can survive the heat.” A male sibling follows suit. They say to their sister, “Don’t you wish you could do this?” The sister rolls her eyes.

Late evening comes, the windows have been open for a couple of hours. The house feels blissful. I walk into the living room. The fireplace is on. A child is sitting in front of it, warming his back. I order a child to “turn off the fireplace!”

The current rumor is that mom is too cheap to use the air conditioner. Yep, it’s true. I’m cheap. They can add that to their exit interview.

(BTW, if you don’t remember exit interviews, click here.)

Photo by Vincent de Groot, courtesy of Wikimedia.