Insanity Chez Keller

Luke and Jacob have the stomach flu. And that’s sad for them—they curl up under blankets, eat saltines, and try to get to the toilet “on time.” You’d think that Luke and Jake would be my biggest hassle. They’re not. It’s Matt and Ariel. They are obsessed with not getting the flu.

Once the first puke happened, Ar and Matt grabbed my dust masks (I’m horribly allergic to dust) and slapped them over their noses and mouths. Then, Matt proceeded to clean the entire house, including books and the dust masks, with Lysol wipes. He’s a walking advertisement for virus-killing. He even covered his face with the wipes.

When Luke walked through the living room to get from the master bedroom to his bedroom, Ariel and Matt started screaming, and Matt attacked Luke with (you guessed it) Lysol wipes. Luke retaliated by breathing on the computer keys. It took Matt quite a while to clean each and every key.

Matt will no longer use the boys’ bathroom—he has to use ours. Ariel has told the boys to hold their breath when they walk through her room. (You have to go through Ariel’s room to get to the master bedroom.) She had banished them from the room earlier—they had to walk by way of the deck, but a nasty thunderstorm precluded her arrangements.

Matt has made plans to move a trundle from Ariel’s room into the living room so he doesn’t have to breathe the same air that Jacob does (they share a room).

Ariel’s excuse is that she has a Calculus 2 exam tomorrow. I don’t know why she’s so concerned—I’ve saved one of those airsickness bags. She can take it with her and puke her way through the test.

Matt says he just hates vomiting. Before I realized what he was doing, he ingested 2300 % of the recommended daily dose of vitamin C. Now I’m pushing fluids into him, too.

Yep. Insanity reigns chez Keller. Y’all pray for me.


Here are pictures.