Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Oh, the Places You Won’t Go

Two of our kids are on spring break, and two aren’t. Which means no vacation. It means we stay home, instead of visiting friends (Darren and Maggie, we’ll be by in August). But I can’t let an opportunity pass.  Luke + Ariel + vacation = slave labor.
Luke is the official dissection director. I did enough dissection in high school and college, plus I did dissection with Luke and Ariel. Now Luke is the teacher. He’s on his second student, Matthew. Apparently it’s going quite well and Matt is taking pictures of all the organs. EUW. 
Ariel is my spring break cruise director. She insists that I do fun stuff even though I’m not on vacation. She highlighted my hair. I did hers. I discovered that they give you those plastic gloves for a reason. At first my fingertips turned white. Eventually the color came back. But now they’re slippery. And I find myself wondering if you could use a peroxide-based chemical cocktail to “burn” the fingerprints off your fingers... Imagine.
Federal agent 1: Hmm, no fingerprints here. But there are traces of hydrogen peroxide, potassium persulfate, and sodium metasilicate.*
Federal agent 2: Sir, this must be the work of the nefarious highlighting terrorist.
Federal agent 1: Let’s stake out the nearest drugstore.
Of course, I have more plans for tomorrow. The bathroom ceiling needs to be sanded and repainted. (Note to Luke—this means me and you.) The only problem with this is that the ceiling is at least ten feet high. And our ladder won’t fit in the bathroom. So I’ll probably stack pieces of furniture on top of each other until I can reach the ceiling. At which point, Luke will explain to me why I am taking ridiculous chances. I will explain that it doesn’t matter because I have really good balance. Luke will say, “Does Dad know that you’re doing this?” And I will say, “Hey, Dad’s the one who does wiring without turning off the electricity.” Luke will sigh heavily and wonder how he can be the offspring of two such parents. But he’ll help me anyway.
I’m not sure what else Ariel has planned, but I’m sure it involves chocolate chip cookies, lattes with whipped cream, and dark chocolate. Which just goes to show you that you don’t need to go anywhere to have a perfect spring break.
* (I have no idea what that means. I just copied it off the box.)

15 comments:

  1. For those who are interested (who could not be interested), potassium persulfate is K2S2O8, which is an oxidizing agent. Sodium metasilicate, also known as sodium silicate, also known as liquid glass, has a repeat unit of Na2SiO3. Hydrogen Peroxide, as everyone knows, is H2O2.

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  2. Have a fab spring break! The university I work for is on break...but I'm not...which means...it's quiet here!

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  3. Haha. Oh, great post:) That is how our breaks tend to be.
    But guess what!? At the college (that I hope to attend in the fall) we get to dissect cats! How gnarly is that! Matthew is more than welcome to come and take pictures.

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  4. Have a great Spring break! My kiddos start summer break tomorrow so I think we're going to have similar "adventures." ;-)

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  5. I refused to dissect the frogs in eighth grade and wrote a report instead – much more animal friendly! Err, and take the other two out of school for a day (or two) and see if you can do a last minute getaway! Anywhere? (We didn't go anywhere either, really. The kids were off for two weeks and we just did day trips...)

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  6. i'm on spring break and my kids are not... it's kind of wonderful.

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  7. Oh enjoy this blissful week! I'm looking forward to having spring break with my kiddos too. I do love me some spring. =)

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  8. It almost sounds like Ariel is having the fun spring break with chocolate and hairstyling while look is having the unfun spring break with bathroom cleaning and teaching duty. :)

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  9. I remember doing frog dissections, wow. I can still smell the formaldehyde and remember what happened when we poked the gallbladder.

    (green exploding liquid)

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  10. I like Ariel's idea of a break. :)

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  11. I am on spring break as well. Enjoy it, even though 2 aren't on spring break! ;-) Hope all is well!

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  12. Sounds like you're having an awesome spring break.

    Be careful on all that furniture!

    ;-)

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  13. Dyeing one another's hair sounds fun. My daughter is 8. I look forward to doing girly things.

    Whenever I'm on vacation, my kids keep me too busy as well!

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  14. Oh the Federal Agent thing is funny! That's got to go in a book somewhere! I'm on spring break right now too and I love just being home with my kids not going anywhere! Travel is so much work! Lattes and chocolate makes anything special!

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