Five Reasons Why I Watch Baseball

So it’s that time of year again, the end of the baseball season. And my guys are watching the games, especially since their favorite team, the Yankees, has not clinched their division.

I, being the ever dutiful wife and mother, watch with them. Okay, sometimes I play Mahjong, but most of the time I watch. But since baseball is not a natural love for me, despite years of Little League and high school ball (and a couple of years when one son worked as an umpire—that was miserable for me), I’ve come up with my own reasons for watching.

1. I like Andy Pettite. He’s a great pitcher and he came back after retiring and an injury, etc. So he’s an inspiration, but that’s not why I like him. I like him because he’s got this great scowl. He scowls at the baseball, and he scowls at the runner—he reminds me of my oldest son who shares the same scowl. “Mwhaha, I am the bringer of the evil slider of strike-outness.”

2. I like Nick Swisher because he still treats baseball like a game. He’s always smiling as if he realizes that he’s getting paid to play a game. He always tries some silly trick that no one buys. Yesterday, he caught a ball and then pretended that he didn’t know where it was. The Red Sox runner gave him a look that said, “Are you a complete lunatic? This is serious major league baseball, not Little League.” Swisher smiled, shrugged, and threw the ball in.”

3. I like that I don’t have to know anything about the game to participate in the family fun. If a strike is called, I can say “that was high/outside/inside/missed-the-corner-of-the-plate” and someone will argue it with me.

4. I like the weirdnesses. Last night a bird decided to watch the game, which was fine. But he wanted to watch it while sitting in the diamond. Not fine. So a grounds-keeper came out with a bucket and chased the bird hither, thither, and yon. Each time the bird would find a new spot on the field. Finally, he settled just outside the first base line. They let him watch the game from there.

5. But most of all, I watch baseball because I like spending time with my family. The same reason my family listens to me blab on and on about writing. So I owe it to them.