Scarlett's Questions

My friend Scarlett at Scarlett's Tattoo tagged me yesterday. Here are my questions and answers. (And watch out, I'll be tagging on Friday.) BTW, she regularly posts Barefoot Cook columns, so check out her recipes. Today's is Spicy Sausage Croissant.

1. If your life were a book, what would it be titled?

The Completely Surprising Adventures of a Woman who had her Whole Life Planned Out and then Everything Changed.

2. Tell us a favorite childhood memory.

My mom bought me a stuffed donkey when I was very sick. I loved it so much it lost all its fur.

3. Is there a time limit on fortune cookie predictions?

Um, I don’t like fortune cookies. But if they made fortune chocolate chip cookies, it would be a different story.

4. Name three lessons LIFE has taught you.

1. A baby boy always pees as soon as you take off his diaper.

2. The sewage pipes stop working when you have houseguests.

3. You can say bad words as long as they’re in a poem. (I went to a strict Baptist high school and wrote a poem with a cuss word in it. The other students were appalled. But my teacher said, “The poem is perfect. The cuss word stays.” And people wonder why I write...)

5. Oceans or Mountains, and why?

Oceans. They’re peaceful, and I love playing in the waves. Plus, salt water is good for the skin. And there's always the chance that you'll see a shark. Of course, that undermines the peaceful part.

6. What makes you smile?

Besides my husband and kids, PG Wodehouse makes me laugh. You have to love someone who says,

            “The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.” 

             “I'm not absolutely certain of the facts, but I rather fancy it's Shakespeare who says that it's always

              just when a fellow is feeling particularly braced with things in general that Fate sneaks up behind 

              him with the bit of lead piping.” 

            “I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.”

7. What would you dare to do if you knew you could not fail?

Publish a book. But I did that even though I knew I could “fail.” But being brave is doing something in spite of your fears. Though that could be insanity too.

8. Do you believe in ghosts? What about Muppets?

Nope. I don’t believe in ghosts. But I do believe in Muppets. I loved Gonzo.

9. What is your favorite thing about yourself?

I have good teeth. I didn’t need braces, and I’m not prone to cavities.

10. Given three wishes, what would you wish?

I’m by nature a perfectionist, so this is a hard one.

1. A house that cleaned itself.

2. Clothes that ironed themselves. Of course, that would mean I wouldn’t get my “ironing treat,” which is streaming a movie on Netflix. Can I change that wish?

3. The annihilation of all mosquitoes. I don’t think they add anything to the balance of the ecosystem.

11. What is the one thing you could not live without?

Indoor plumbing. Seriously. I can cope with just about anything as long as I take a hot bath. This is the problem with camping. That and the mosquitoes.