Who Let The Dog Out?

Everybody has their little obsessions. When Luke was little, he had socks that he’d wear at bedtime and socks he’d where only during the day. Me? I hate messy counters. It drives Ariel crazy because when she bakes or cooks, I often put things away before she’s even used them.

Cal’s obsession is changing the oil in the car. He changes it every 5,000 miles on the dot. (At least, I think it’s 5,000—I don’t know, I’m not an oil person.) Anyway this past Tuesday in the pouring down rain, he had to change the oil. Apparently, it couldn’t wait another day. This wouldn’t be so bad if we had a garage, but we don’t. And the water streams down the asphalt so he was basically lying in a river.

Our dog Jezebel also has an obsession—being wherever Calvin is, especially if it’s in the backyard. (Jez associates Cal in the backyard with barbequing.) Jez also loves car trips. Once when my parents visited, my dad opened his car door and got out. Jez tore across the yard and leapt. My dad stealed himself for the force of the dog, but she glided right passed him into his car, where she waited for whatever trip he’d planned.

Now put these two images together. Cal was in the backyard, and the car door was slightly ajar. Jez whined loudly at the backdoor. Luke, assuming Jez had serious bladder/bowel issues, let her out.

Imagine looking out the back kitchen window. Cal’s under the car soaked to the skin and covered in dead leaves washed around like a shroud by the rain. In the driver’s seat of the car sits Jez her tail wagging and making an occasional bark that said, “Hey, master, are you almost done—where we going?” Of course, to Cal it sounded like, “I’m here to irritate you, master.”

In the end, Cal staggered into the house with leaves stuck to hair and shoulders, dripping muddy water onto the floor and demanding, “Who let the dog out?” It was more Frankenstein-esque than Baha Men, but I still laughed.

p.s. I've just been told that the oil gets changed every 3,000 miles. Now I know.