Hurrying the Holidays

I went to Sam’s Club today, and I noticed that they were selling Halloween tchotchkes, Thanksgiving stuff (stuffing, cranberries, etc.), and Christmas baubles. All at the same time. I’m trying to figure out why. Do they really think that if I see a 30 foot fake Christmas tree for the next two months it's going to create some kind of “felt need” and I’m going to spend big bucks on a gaudy tree? I don’t think so. (Of course, my kids would say that I’d never spend big bucks on anything, and they’d remind me that copper wire was invented my two Dutchmen fighting over the same penny. Both things are true, but that’s neither here nor there.)

I’m sure there’s some marketing/economic reason behind the let’s-innundate-the-consumer-with-the-next-three-holidays’-worth-of-flummery, but I’d rather be able to find the toilet paper and the detergent, which will soon be relegated to a corner of the store with Wolfgang Puck steak knives and aroma therapy mood enhancers. But this reorganization of the store is probably part of the master plan. They want to keep me in the store as long as possible searching for the paper towels, so that I’ll see the 50 spun glass Christmas ornaments and put a box in my cart. But, here’s the thing. I won’t. I’m not buying what I quietly call “Christmas Crap.” On the other hand, the decadent chocolate truffles…they might make it into my cart, especially if Cal’s with me. But that 30 foot tree? There’s still no way.