Replacement Imp

You may remember I posted about my new washing machine. It’s one of those high efficiency machines. It sings when it starts, and it sings when it’s finished. And when I’m stressed I can watch the clothes spin. Bliss.

However, it has developed a new feature. It leaks. Yes, water on my laundry room floor. Do you know how tired I am of dealing with water issues?! As if the flooding basement issues were not enough. Not to mention backed up pipes, replacement sewer lines, broken water lines...

Of course, it’s not a normal leak issue. The washer doesn’t leak when I’m running it. It leaks when I’m not. Matt said, “Why does this always happen to us?” Yeah, that’s my question too. I considered telling him that it was so we would learn patience. Instead, I told him the imps that run the computers must have talked to the imp that runs the washing machine. And it joined the conspiracy.

So I called LG, the company that makes the washer. They told me to hold up the phone to the washer and push a series of buttons. I did. Then the washing machine imp began talking to the computer imps at the computer service center. It sounded something like this:  Eeeep!  Eooop! Eeeep! Beep! Tweet, twitter! Eeep, eeep!  It was as if the washing machine was channeling R2D2.  Then, I talked to the service tech again. Apparently, the washing machine told the computer that there was nothing wrong with its seals, I hadn’t used too much soap, and all the connections were intact. It may have said some other things like “I’m a rogue washing machine imp who’s trying to drive this woman crazy,” but the tech didn’t share this with me.

Of course, the tech asked me to do a rinse/spin cycle without clothes. I explained again that the washer didn’t leak when I used it, but I humored the tech. And guess what, it didn’t leak. And it didn’t leak when I ran laundry through it yesterday afternoon. But when I got up this morning, a puddle of water surrounded my machine like an infernal halo.

I called the tech again. They wanted the washer to do the R2D2 thing again. Which it did. And, apparently, everything is fine and dandy with my machine. They’re sending out a repair person Friday, which is good. I just hope they bring a replacement imp. Mine has been corrupted.

Spin. Slop. Pause.

My appliances came!! And I will have you know that I installed the washer machine all by myself. Of course, it wasn’t too hard. First, we didn’t buy the riser, which lifts the washer to a higher level. (There’s no way I’m spending $300 for a metal drawer.)

I hooked up the water lines; I hooked up the drain lines. Then I tried to push it into place. It didn’t budge. I think it laughed at me. The new washer is one of those front-loading high efficiency machines, which has a concrete block in the bottom. So I called the boys—engineering boy who told his brothers what/how to move it so that it would snug in, strong as an ox boy who did the bulk of the physical labor, and comic boy who made jokes about breaking the machine. Once they got it in, I ran a load of laundry.

I stuffed our comforter and pillow shams into the machine and started it. The machine has a glass door so you can see the laundry being washed. I sat and watched it. Comic boy joined me. It was amazing, very soothing. Spin. Slop. Pause. Spin. Slop. Pause. I know what I’m going to do the next time I run into a plot problem. And when I’m a famous writer (ha) being interviewed and I’m asked, “So, Connie, what do you do when you run into a plot problem?” I’ll answer, “I watch my washing machine spin.”

Sadly, the dishwasher doesn’t have a glass panel. It didn’t even come with an owner’s manual. So today I’m going to have to call the General of Electric and request an owner’s manual. I like to have them so I can read how to cancel a washer cycle. When I turned it on to check for leaks, it wouldn’t let me cancel the washer cycle and I had to run it through the entire cycle. Very Frustrating...time for me to go watch the washing machine spin.