Guido the Enforcer

Yesterday morning just before we left for church, we got a phone call. It was fraud alert. Yes, Calvin’s identity has been stolen AGAIN. This is the fourth time. Cal’s social security number must be popular—it keeps getting sold over and over again.

We found out about the fraud because a couple of months ago we got a Capital One Visa card. And, providentially, Identity Thief Number Four chose to open a Capital One credit card. Capital One thought it was odd that Cal was applying for a second credit card from an address in Detroit, so they called us. Capital One is now denying Identity Thief Number Four a credit card.

Later today, we’ll find out if ITNF has opened other credit cards in Cal’s name. Then, we’ll call the police in Detroit and they’ll tell us that ITNF has rights and they can’t help us.

Hmmm. We still have some friends in Connecticut. I wonder if anyone there has a cousin named Guido the Enforcer who will help us. After all, this identity thief is not nearly as clever as the last one. ITNF actually gave Capital One his home address, instead of a PO Box. I’m sure Guido can convince Capital One to share ITNF’s address with him.

Anyone out there have a cousin named Guido?

Surgery

After the craziness of pre-op, I wondered what surgery would by like. It was totally different. I have only nice things to say about the staff at Parkridge East. I don’t even have a bruise where the nurse put in the IV, and I was even dehydrated. (I’ve been known to have my whole arm bruise when I’ve gotten an IV before.)

After the surgery, the codeine was lovely. That night, my wonderful husband set the alarm to go off every 4 hours, so he could give me another dose of pain killers. (Yeah, he’s a keeper.)

The weird thing is that I had a very vivid dream during the surgery. Or maybe it was during recovery. I didn’t think you were supposed to have REM sleep with surgery.

There’s also one more important thing I discovered. When the anesthesiologist noticed that I was a migraine sufferer, she left and came back with a patch of scopolamine. According to her, migraine sufferers have a lot more problems with post-surgical nausea. So the patch deals with that. And I must say, the patch was amazing. I didn’t get a hint of nausea. I’m so thankful.

The only bad thing is that I lost my voice. Which isn’t such a big deal. Except that I got a phone call from American Express. Someone was making fraudulent charges on my credit card. Some loser/thief was charging hundreds of dollars of perfume, etc., on my credit card. I was very pleased the AmEx called me and told me that they were suspicious. Obviously, they know I’m not a big perfume user—in fact, I don’t think I’ve ever bought perfume. But the craziest thing was that I had to talk to a woman from India or Pakistan about the problem. Have you ever tried to carry on a conversation with a woman with a heavy accent while you have post-surgery laryngitis? It doesn’t go so well. There are a lot of “pardons” and “could you repeat that please.” But in the end, we solved the problem, And since it was AmEx, I’m not responsible for any of the faux charges.  Yay, AmEx!!!

At some point, it would be great if some member of the gov’t would do something about all the identity theft.

PS For all that are interested, I should get the results of my biopsy on Tuesday.

PPS If any of you would like to read the Amazon Experts Reviews on my novel, which so far has made it to the quarterfinals of the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award contest, here's a link.