Apparently, my teenage readers are tiring of my numerous posts about tech support. Hmm. I guess they don’t spend much time dialoguing with Indian trouble shooters. I suppose it’s similar to when I was a teenager and my grandmother couldn’t figure out how to use her microwave or VCR. If I remember correctly, most people over the age of 40 had “12:00” blinking on their VCR all the time. Okay. No more posts on tech support—at least not until tomorrow.
How about a report on something nearer and dearer to teen hearts? How about a personal review of one of my favorite Wii games? I would do Excite Truck since it’s my favorite, but I’ll hold off on that and do my second favorite—Mario Cart. I always play as Yoshi. He is too cute with his bulbous green nose and squeaky voice—it brings out the 16 year old girl who still lives inside of me somewhere. And I always drive the standard motorcycle—I was a very cool 16 year old. (Not really—I actually listened to Big Band music, watched old Hitchcock movies, and tried to get the best grades in my class.)
The best tracks in Mario Cart are NOT Rainbow Road or Bowser’s Castle. In Rainbow Road, I always drive off the road and fall into outer space. (The whole thing doesn’t really work for me because it’s illogical unless the road itself is gravitized.) Bowser’s Castle is another hateful track—either I fall into burning lava and become a Yoshi tiki torch, or I get smashed by some idol-lookalikes that fall from the ceiling. Yeah, I think I have a spiritual objection to Bowser’s Castle.
On the other hand, I like Coconut Mall, despite that fact that I hate shopping. Maybe my local mall could install go carts and jumps. I’d definitely visit more often. And Mushroom Gorge is fun. The colors are psychedelic, and you get to bounce on the mushrooms.
All right, all right. The truth of the matter is that I never, ever win on Rainbow Road or Bowser’s Castle—sometimes I don’t even finish. But I am the Mall/Mushroom Champion. Yep, I get the M&M crown. I think they should send me a bag of M&Ms as a prize. I like the peanut kind, not the plain.
Showing posts with label Wii. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Wii. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Thanks, Neighbor!
This morning while I was drinking coffee and forcing my bleary eyes open, I heard yelps of irritation and mutterings of frustration. Then one by one my breakfast companions stumbled to the table, guzzled their coffee, and announced “I can’t get my email.” Of course, I wasn’t surprised because I couldn’t get mine either. I promised all my mignons and the head honcho that I would ferret out the cause of this internet scourge whilst the mignons (French for "little ones"--I try not to name my children after various cuts of beef) did housework and the head honcho attended a meeting.
I’m sure you all know what this means. First, I unplugged and replugged the router. No change. Then I held the reset button for 15 seconds. Still, the internet flatlined. Next step, unplug, replug, and reset the modem. During this I had to wait for various lights to blink, sparkle and reset themselves. And I explained to Mignon #3 that Mom and Dad’s shower still has mildew and soap scum in the crevices and must be recleaned. Mignon #3 was unhappy.
Now that all the lights had a chance to do their thing, I tried connecting. No dice. So, I rebooted all four computers. Still nada. The frustration level has reached Techno-meltdown levels. I decided it must be time to go the store and buy my Honey a Valentine’s Day gift. So, I unplugged everything in hopes that depriving the electronic boxes of electricity would make them want to behave when I got back—it’s sort of like a “spanking” for computers.
After finding a very cool gift for my sweetheart, I returned home to my cyber-mess. I plugged in the modem. No blinky lights. Not a one. I plugged the modem into different sockets. Still, no green light of life. Time to call tech support. There was an eight minutes wait. At the end of seven, they disconnected me. Oops. I called again. In the middle of the eight minutes wait I told Mignon #3 that he could not play Wii, even with the sound turned off. After eight minutes, I talked to a guy in India who asked me if it was okay if he called me “Miss Keller.” I said, “Yes,” but I thought “you can call me Bob the builder if you can make my modem work.”
I ran through the litany of problems. After which, he said, imagine a heavy Indian/Pakistani accent, “Miss Keller, logic would dictate that you try plugging it into different outlets.” I opened my mouth to say, “As I explained, that was amongst the first things I did.” But before I did, he said, “But since you already did that, I think what you have is a complete modem hardward failure.”
Two minutes later, I found out that my modem was not under warranty. No duh—when is anything under warranty any more? After some wheeling and dealing, he promised me a free modem, which he was overnighting to me and would arrive on Tuesday or Wednesday (today’s Saturday, so over-night is clearly a euphemism).
We politely said good-bye, happy to be done with each other. Most likely, he went to help another customer, and I went and took some Aleve to deal with my techno-headache cum migraine. I told myself that at least this could be turned into a blog post, assuming I can hijack (though I prefer to think of it as “piggybacking”) a neighbor’s unsecured wireless connection. So if you’re reading this, thank my neighbor.
I’m sure you all know what this means. First, I unplugged and replugged the router. No change. Then I held the reset button for 15 seconds. Still, the internet flatlined. Next step, unplug, replug, and reset the modem. During this I had to wait for various lights to blink, sparkle and reset themselves. And I explained to Mignon #3 that Mom and Dad’s shower still has mildew and soap scum in the crevices and must be recleaned. Mignon #3 was unhappy.
Now that all the lights had a chance to do their thing, I tried connecting. No dice. So, I rebooted all four computers. Still nada. The frustration level has reached Techno-meltdown levels. I decided it must be time to go the store and buy my Honey a Valentine’s Day gift. So, I unplugged everything in hopes that depriving the electronic boxes of electricity would make them want to behave when I got back—it’s sort of like a “spanking” for computers.
After finding a very cool gift for my sweetheart, I returned home to my cyber-mess. I plugged in the modem. No blinky lights. Not a one. I plugged the modem into different sockets. Still, no green light of life. Time to call tech support. There was an eight minutes wait. At the end of seven, they disconnected me. Oops. I called again. In the middle of the eight minutes wait I told Mignon #3 that he could not play Wii, even with the sound turned off. After eight minutes, I talked to a guy in India who asked me if it was okay if he called me “Miss Keller.” I said, “Yes,” but I thought “you can call me Bob the builder if you can make my modem work.”
I ran through the litany of problems. After which, he said, imagine a heavy Indian/Pakistani accent, “Miss Keller, logic would dictate that you try plugging it into different outlets.” I opened my mouth to say, “As I explained, that was amongst the first things I did.” But before I did, he said, “But since you already did that, I think what you have is a complete modem hardward failure.”
Two minutes later, I found out that my modem was not under warranty. No duh—when is anything under warranty any more? After some wheeling and dealing, he promised me a free modem, which he was overnighting to me and would arrive on Tuesday or Wednesday (today’s Saturday, so over-night is clearly a euphemism).
We politely said good-bye, happy to be done with each other. Most likely, he went to help another customer, and I went and took some Aleve to deal with my techno-headache cum migraine. I told myself that at least this could be turned into a blog post, assuming I can hijack (though I prefer to think of it as “piggybacking”) a neighbor’s unsecured wireless connection. So if you’re reading this, thank my neighbor.
Monday, February 2, 2009
What's Your Fitness Age?
Our family got its final Christmas present today—Wii fitness. For those of you who have never used one, let’s just says it’s pretty cool. (Nintendo can send me a check any time they want to.) It focuses on five aspects of health: weight, aerobic exercise, balance, strength, and yoga. First it measures your body mass index. That went well. My weight is great for my age and height. Then, it checked my agility and balance. It gave me a “Wii Fit Age” of 47! That’s much older than I am—that’s Calvin’s age.
Needless to say, Calvin and the kids thought this was absolutely hilarious. I didn’t. Especially when the Wii said things like: “Do you fall walking down the street?” (No kidding!) Electronic insults are not something I need. It also said, “Agility is not your strength, do you feel unbalanced?” Hmmm, is that physical or mental balance? Perhaps their next Wii “game” will be Wii psychotherapist…“I see, explain what you mean by rip out my circuitry and feed it to your dog.”
Of course, I couldn’t accept my Wii fitness age. So, I did their training exercises. I rediscovered my center, apparently I lost it sometimes after my years of ballet and jazz dance in college. I also found out that yoga is my thing. I was rated “yoga trainer” on “The Tree” movement. I’m not sure if I’m an oak or a maple, but as long as I’m not a magnolia it works for me.
I also did ski jumping, running, slalom, tightrope walking (I fell to my death) and table balancing, which is rather like something out of Raiders of the Lost Ark. After all this, I had my Wii age reevaluated. This time I scored 35. Yep, I now have the agility, balance, and all-around health of a 35 year old. Twenty minutes of hard Wii work took 12 years off my age. It’s truly an amazing product. Either that, or I figured out how to use the Wii balance board. Nah. I think I took 12 years off.
This is me doing “The Tree.”
Needless to say, Calvin and the kids thought this was absolutely hilarious. I didn’t. Especially when the Wii said things like: “Do you fall walking down the street?” (No kidding!) Electronic insults are not something I need. It also said, “Agility is not your strength, do you feel unbalanced?” Hmmm, is that physical or mental balance? Perhaps their next Wii “game” will be Wii psychotherapist…“I see, explain what you mean by rip out my circuitry and feed it to your dog.”
Of course, I couldn’t accept my Wii fitness age. So, I did their training exercises. I rediscovered my center, apparently I lost it sometimes after my years of ballet and jazz dance in college. I also found out that yoga is my thing. I was rated “yoga trainer” on “The Tree” movement. I’m not sure if I’m an oak or a maple, but as long as I’m not a magnolia it works for me.
I also did ski jumping, running, slalom, tightrope walking (I fell to my death) and table balancing, which is rather like something out of Raiders of the Lost Ark. After all this, I had my Wii age reevaluated. This time I scored 35. Yep, I now have the agility, balance, and all-around health of a 35 year old. Twenty minutes of hard Wii work took 12 years off my age. It’s truly an amazing product. Either that, or I figured out how to use the Wii balance board. Nah. I think I took 12 years off.
This is me doing “The Tree.”
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