Friday, May 18, 2012

Distressed-Leprous-Skin Rot

As you know from a previous blog post, we are overhauling the kitchen cabinets and giving them the “distressed look,” which is a step up from the “abused 60s look” that they had when we bought the house.

In pickling the cabinets, I’ve been spilling white stain on myself. Small splotches on my face, big drippy patches on my legs. I realize that I sound like the messiest painter ever, but have you ever tried painting the inside of cabinets that are mounted flush to the ceiling? Let’s just say it’s not easy task.

So I am covered in weird semi-transparent paint blobs. It’s been okay thus far because I haven’t really gone anywhere besides the hardware store. And that reminds me, why don’t other people buying one-more-thing at Home Depot for their DIY projects look as skanky as I do? Maybe I’m naïve, but do people do their hair, scrub their skin, and put on makeup before they go to the hardware store? They must because I’ve never seen anyone else in cutoffs, a sweat-stained t-shirt that says, “Ask me about my book,” and paint speckled skin.

“Paint speckled” is a euphemism for describing what I look like. The truth is that I appear to have leprosy. Or skin rot. So far, no one has shouted, “Unclean” at me. But I’m sure that’s right around the corner, especially since the next set of cabinets will necessitate me climbing inside to paint them.  But, hey, my cabinets will look good, inside and out. 


  1. I always, always get paint in my hair. No matter whether I'm painting walls, cabinets, or popsicle sticks. Even if I'm wearing a hat or kerchief over my head! One of life's mysteries ...

  2. Dunno about anybody else, but I never get dolled up to go to the hardware store. Or the grocery store. Or the post office. (Okay, so maybe I'm a slob.) As for painting the inside of those cabinets, especially the top inside, a "collar" cut from a plastic bottle does a pretty good job of keeping most of the paint from dripping all over you.

  3. I never dress up to go to the hardware store and with all those paint splashes, you just like you're hard at work.

  4. Ha! I'm sure a hardware store has seen it all. LOL!

  5. You're just not visiting the hardware store at the times they're shopping. They tend to stop by early in the morning before the job. If they need something, they'll wait until the next day to get it (after they've washed their pants). : )