Monday, March 19, 2012

Extended Warranties

I’ve never been a purchaser of extended warranties. When an appliance costs $400 and the extended warranty costs $250, it seems a waste of money. Because after five years when the appliance dies, they’ll fix your stove/dryer/etc., but then you have an appliance that’s five years old (and likely to soon die) whereas if you’d saved the $250 on the e.w. and then added another $150 (plus inflation) you’d have a brand new appliance. This makes sense to me. It’s great theory. And even one that I read in Consumer Reports. The problem is that it doesn’t work.

I’m on my third stove in the five and one half years that we’ve lived in this house. And I take really good care of my stoves. I think I use it more often than most people—at least three times a day. Actually, more when I count all the snacks the boys cook themselves.

But appliances aren’t really the point of this post. Bodies are. (Yeah, I know, what’s the connection? Sorry, you’ll have to wait for it.) There are nights when Cal and I wake up, like last night, and neither of us sleeps well because of pain. Once we’ve slept off the initial exhaustion, we toss and turn. And then we start making jokes. We’re really funny at 3am. (At least, we think so.) Last night, I told Cal that when we got married we should have bought extended warranties on each other. Don’t you love the idea of taking your body in and saying, “Yeah, the circuitry is fried. I want a replacement.” And I guess they do that with joints. Cal wants a spine replacement. What about you? What would you fix with an extended warranty?


  1. I'd get my memory fixed, no doubt. I was horrified yesterday in church when I didn't recognize a song they were playing until the chorus. Used to be, I could hear a song once and I would recognize it from the opening bars forever afterward. Granted, a lot of music sounds exactly alike to my cynical ear these days, but still. I miss that memory that recorded almost everything without any effort at all. What WILL I do if I ever make it back to college?

  2. I have one extended warranty and it's on my digital camera. It's a really nice camera and so I've was worried I'd be afraid to take it anywhere in case I dropped it, lost it, broke it, or someone stole it. Now if ANYTHING happens to it, I have peace of mind that it will either be fixed or replaced.

    The warranty was almost a better gift than the camera itself.

  3. We never used to buy extended warranties on any of our appliances or gadgets, either, but we did get one on our big-screen TV. The BEST move we ever made. A board has been replaced in it TWICE now, and it didn't cost us a cent. (And the cost for even one replacement would have been more than what we paid for the extended warranty.) If it goes out again, the company will replace our whole TV. I mean, wow, huh?

    As for my body, I've had enough surgeries, so I'll pass on getting any replacement parts just yet, but I wouldn't mind having my mind covered. The thought of diminishing mental capability terrifies me more than any physical infirmity.

  4. Um, clearly it was 3am.

  5. Is there an option for a total recall? Well, I guess that would be death, so I'll opt for a complete overhaul. Start with the right hip/right knee/left ankle, throw in the brain and then I'll be back for a tune-up on a few other the lower back. (Today the lower back might go to the top of the list.)

  6. This actually sounds like a good premise for a dystopian or a sci-fi! :)