The best style is the style you don't notice.
~Somerset Maugham
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Free Linen Shift
Here's a link to a site where you can win a free linen women's shift or men's shirt. (So cool, Rowenna!) If you recognize the name, it's because she sometimes comments on my blog.
Anyway, click over and enter. Shifts make wonderful nightgowns--I know I've made one for myself and used it as a nightgown. But I've never made one out of linen, which sounds wonderful.
http://hyalineprosaic.blogspot.com/2010/07/great-linen-giveaway.html
Scroll down to read my regular Wednesday post. Thanks.
Anyway, click over and enter. Shifts make wonderful nightgowns--I know I've made one for myself and used it as a nightgown. But I've never made one out of linen, which sounds wonderful.
http://hyalineprosaic.blogspot.com/2010/07/great-linen-giveaway.html
Scroll down to read my regular Wednesday post. Thanks.
My Special Gift
Some people have wonderful gifts. They can play a violin with such pathos that it brings tears to your eyes. Others can write poetry that expresses the deepest longings of our hearts. Still others can fill a canvas with paint in a way that makes us see the common in a new way. All of those people have constructive gifts.
I have a special gift, only it’s destructive. I have the gift of stove/oven destruction. I didn’t realize I possessed this special ability until about 11 years ago. Though there were warning signs—like when a Pyrex dish of chicken exploded in the oven and the chicken fell onto the heating element and caught fire. But 11 years ago my gift came to the fore. We were living in Hamden, Connecticut. I had a nice roast in the oven and then I noticed an odor, a burning smell. I hurried down to the kitchen. The heating element in the oven had burned a hole into itself. Normally, such things are supposed to short out. It didn’t. Turning off the power worked though. Sadly, the roast was a bit rare, but our guests were understanding.
Another time, I put a kettle of water on the stove to boil for tea. When the kettle was steaming, I picked it up. The burner came with it. For reasons I cannot comprehend, the burner fused itself to the kettle. Both were thrown out—we couldn’t get them apart. You’d think that replacing the burner would take care of the problem. You’d be wrong. Another day I was cooking dinner and one of the burners exploded, throwing molten metal through the air. I have burn holes in my apron to prove it. Thankfully, it didn’t get my skin. Needless to say, we got a new oven. I don’t know how that new oven did because we moved soon afterwards.
Our house in Chattanooga had a stove when we moved in. It worked for about a year until the burners stopped functioning. Apparently the “connections” were old, and it would be cheaper to buy a new stove. So we bought one. After two years, the burners stopped working one by one. Cal and I popped the top of the stove to figure out what was wrong. The electrical wires had fused. Maybe they’d caught on fire at one point. Who knows? But when individual wires fuse together, it’s a bad thing. I assumed that the stove was still under warranty. Nope. (N.B. appliance warranties are only one year. Apparently, manufacturers know they make crap.) Time to purchase another stove.
We bought a new stove. A better, more expensive stove. Surely, you get what you pay for. Or not. On Sunday I was broiling garlic bread when I heard a thunk from the direction of the oven. I glanced over. One side of the handle was lying on the ground and the oven door had separated into three pieces. Apparently the handle holds the oven door together. Am I the only one who thinks this is a bad engineering idea?
Cal and I fixed the oven door on Monday—of course, the screws aren’t normal sized and it took some ingenuity to find a tool to repair the door. We have a red gadget that is now the official “fix the oven door” tool. And it’s in a handy spot because I’m sure we’ll be needing it again.
I have a special gift, only it’s destructive. I have the gift of stove/oven destruction. I didn’t realize I possessed this special ability until about 11 years ago. Though there were warning signs—like when a Pyrex dish of chicken exploded in the oven and the chicken fell onto the heating element and caught fire. But 11 years ago my gift came to the fore. We were living in Hamden, Connecticut. I had a nice roast in the oven and then I noticed an odor, a burning smell. I hurried down to the kitchen. The heating element in the oven had burned a hole into itself. Normally, such things are supposed to short out. It didn’t. Turning off the power worked though. Sadly, the roast was a bit rare, but our guests were understanding.
Another time, I put a kettle of water on the stove to boil for tea. When the kettle was steaming, I picked it up. The burner came with it. For reasons I cannot comprehend, the burner fused itself to the kettle. Both were thrown out—we couldn’t get them apart. You’d think that replacing the burner would take care of the problem. You’d be wrong. Another day I was cooking dinner and one of the burners exploded, throwing molten metal through the air. I have burn holes in my apron to prove it. Thankfully, it didn’t get my skin. Needless to say, we got a new oven. I don’t know how that new oven did because we moved soon afterwards.
Our house in Chattanooga had a stove when we moved in. It worked for about a year until the burners stopped functioning. Apparently the “connections” were old, and it would be cheaper to buy a new stove. So we bought one. After two years, the burners stopped working one by one. Cal and I popped the top of the stove to figure out what was wrong. The electrical wires had fused. Maybe they’d caught on fire at one point. Who knows? But when individual wires fuse together, it’s a bad thing. I assumed that the stove was still under warranty. Nope. (N.B. appliance warranties are only one year. Apparently, manufacturers know they make crap.) Time to purchase another stove.
We bought a new stove. A better, more expensive stove. Surely, you get what you pay for. Or not. On Sunday I was broiling garlic bread when I heard a thunk from the direction of the oven. I glanced over. One side of the handle was lying on the ground and the oven door had separated into three pieces. Apparently the handle holds the oven door together. Am I the only one who thinks this is a bad engineering idea?
Cal and I fixed the oven door on Monday—of course, the screws aren’t normal sized and it took some ingenuity to find a tool to repair the door. We have a red gadget that is now the official “fix the oven door” tool. And it’s in a handy spot because I’m sure we’ll be needing it again.
Monday, July 19, 2010
WalMart Wackies
On Saturdays I do my weekend grocery shopping at WalMart. (Most of my grocery shopping is done on Monday, but the fridge is too small to hold all the food my teenagers eat in a week so I have to make a Saturday trip.) Anyway, Cal went with me and we bought cilantro for Saturday night salsa—I make tacos on Saturday evenings with homemade salsa and guacamole. I bought evaporated milk for “Frozen Hot Chocolate,” a new recipe I found that looks divine. Basically, I filled up the grocery cart.
Normally, I get in and out of the store without too much trouble. Okay, given that I shop at WalMart, there’s always some issue, but today was worse. Every odd person in the Chattanooga area was shopping at WalMart while we were there.
First, I saw a biker dude with a greasy braid down his back. I wouldn’t have looked twice except he was hiding behind aisles and peeking around corners. And to make matters worse, I saw him doing the same thing last week! Eeeuw.
Next, a skinny, gray-haired woman kept blocking the food aisles with her cart and body. It would have only been obnoxious, but she was having a loud conversation with nobody. Before you ask, no, she wasn’t wearing a phone earpiece. But she did have a glazed expression in her eyes. And no matter where I shopped in the store, I couldn’t get away from her and her aisle obstruction.
Finally, at the checkout, I thought we were safe. But a man came and stood right next to me at the self-checkout. And he just stood there in the corner of my peripheral vision about a foot and half away. Um, hello, personal space?!
While we were in the store, Cal said to me, “Uh, do you think a shuttle from a psych hospital just dropped off a load of people?” (I had a horrible experience at a park in Connecticut where this happened.) I didn’t see a hospital shuttle, but maybe I need to find a new WalMart.
Normally, I get in and out of the store without too much trouble. Okay, given that I shop at WalMart, there’s always some issue, but today was worse. Every odd person in the Chattanooga area was shopping at WalMart while we were there.
First, I saw a biker dude with a greasy braid down his back. I wouldn’t have looked twice except he was hiding behind aisles and peeking around corners. And to make matters worse, I saw him doing the same thing last week! Eeeuw.
Next, a skinny, gray-haired woman kept blocking the food aisles with her cart and body. It would have only been obnoxious, but she was having a loud conversation with nobody. Before you ask, no, she wasn’t wearing a phone earpiece. But she did have a glazed expression in her eyes. And no matter where I shopped in the store, I couldn’t get away from her and her aisle obstruction.
Finally, at the checkout, I thought we were safe. But a man came and stood right next to me at the self-checkout. And he just stood there in the corner of my peripheral vision about a foot and half away. Um, hello, personal space?!
While we were in the store, Cal said to me, “Uh, do you think a shuttle from a psych hospital just dropped off a load of people?” (I had a horrible experience at a park in Connecticut where this happened.) I didn’t see a hospital shuttle, but maybe I need to find a new WalMart.
Friday, July 16, 2010
The Wisdom of Computers
Yesterday I told Ariel about a site that I’d heard about that analyzes one’s writing and finds an author whose work is similar.
Now I’m skeptical about such things. I understand that a computer can decipher sentence structure and word choice, but how can a computer program analyze voice? It’s that elusive quality that makes Lizzy Bennett “sound” like Lizzy Bennett. (FYI, for my male readers--Lizzy is the heroine of Pride and Prejudice.) But back to voice. It’s the facet of a story or novel that makes you suspend disbelief so that the world of page becomes real. And, in many ways, it’s the mask that the author hides behind. A good author does it so well that you forget there’s an author at all.
But Ariel was eager to try the program out. So she took chunks of my writing—blog posts, novel chapters, etc., and plugged them into the system. After the program chewed through the text, it popped out the writer that I was most like...drumroll, please....The writer that I’m most like is Steven King. Yes, that Steven King. I’m not big on horror because, well, I have nightmares. But I’ve read his book On Writing, and it’s fantastic. But the issue is that I write Young Adult romantic comedy/fantasy (at least, that’s what a knowledgable source tells me). Okay, so that didn't work out too well.
Perhaps what we needed was a second try. Maybe the text Ariel picked was unusual. She ran another hunk of text through the system and I came out as Chuck Palahniuk, yet another horror writer according to Wikipedia.
I was about to decry the follies of computers until Ariel plugged one final chunk of text into the program. This time I came out as J.K. Rowling. Yep, those computer analysis programs are really great.
If you want to plug in your own work, here’s a link to the site. http://iwl.me/
Now I’m skeptical about such things. I understand that a computer can decipher sentence structure and word choice, but how can a computer program analyze voice? It’s that elusive quality that makes Lizzy Bennett “sound” like Lizzy Bennett. (FYI, for my male readers--Lizzy is the heroine of Pride and Prejudice.) But back to voice. It’s the facet of a story or novel that makes you suspend disbelief so that the world of page becomes real. And, in many ways, it’s the mask that the author hides behind. A good author does it so well that you forget there’s an author at all.
But Ariel was eager to try the program out. So she took chunks of my writing—blog posts, novel chapters, etc., and plugged them into the system. After the program chewed through the text, it popped out the writer that I was most like...drumroll, please....The writer that I’m most like is Steven King. Yes, that Steven King. I’m not big on horror because, well, I have nightmares. But I’ve read his book On Writing, and it’s fantastic. But the issue is that I write Young Adult romantic comedy/fantasy (at least, that’s what a knowledgable source tells me). Okay, so that didn't work out too well.
Perhaps what we needed was a second try. Maybe the text Ariel picked was unusual. She ran another hunk of text through the system and I came out as Chuck Palahniuk, yet another horror writer according to Wikipedia.
I was about to decry the follies of computers until Ariel plugged one final chunk of text into the program. This time I came out as J.K. Rowling. Yep, those computer analysis programs are really great.
If you want to plug in your own work, here’s a link to the site. http://iwl.me/
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Writers' Quotes
If I'm trying to sleep, the ideas won't stop.
If I'm trying to write, there appears a barren nothingness.
~Carrie Latet
Is there a single writer in world that hasn't had this experience?
If I'm trying to write, there appears a barren nothingness.
~Carrie Latet
Is there a single writer in world that hasn't had this experience?
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
I’m a QT
If you scroll down the page, you’ll notice a new element on the right side of my blog. It’s a link to QueryTracker. If you write novels or non-fiction and are ready to look for an agent, you have to check out QT. They are an amazing, free site (no, they aren’t paying me) that helps you find the right literary agent for your book.
For each agent listed, you can find how what their response times are to queries and submissions and what other writers’ experiences have been with that agent. Plus, the site has groups where you and other writers can encourage each other and ask/answer writing or publishing questions.
Have fun. Check it out. Let me know if you’re a QT too.
For each agent listed, you can find how what their response times are to queries and submissions and what other writers’ experiences have been with that agent. Plus, the site has groups where you and other writers can encourage each other and ask/answer writing or publishing questions.
Have fun. Check it out. Let me know if you’re a QT too.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)